Preaching To Myself

“What’s that face?”
“Turn that frown upside down!”
“Smile! It increases your face-value!”
 
I heard them all today. All said by well-meaning, truly caring people trying to cheer me up and bring me back to my “usual” happy self. But it just wasn’t working today.  I just didn’t have it in me. What a way to start a post, huh!
 
Yet I think if we’re honest with each other, we’d admit it’s hard to keep our hearts alive and open, hopeful, when we experience so many disappointments and heartaches in the natural course of life. Oh, sure — we have good days, even awesome days. In those times it’s not hard to feel positive and upbeat about the future and walk in happy expectation. But where does that positive upbeat view of the future go when we’re hit with disappointment, setbacks, heartache, defeat, pain, loss? 
 
I have learned that it is in these dark moments that hope can be most alive and real in us, if we will allow it. The kind of hope Horatio Stafford clung to as he penned “It Is Well With My Soul.”  The same hope that Job clung to as he sat digging at his scabs, grieving his lost family and saying,”Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (Job 13:15)  And the same hope that kept a bloody, beaten Paul and Silas praying and singing to God while in prison.
 
I doubt any of these men were smiling, happy, or chipper during these dark times of their lives. And I would suspect their words were spoken, and lyrics sung, with tear-stained faces, and pain-filled hearts. Yet they all had hope
 
Paul points out in Romans 8 that even though all creation is bound up in the curse brought on by Adam and Eve, subjected over and over to frustration and futility, and groaning with birth pangs, it eagerly waits for God to reveal who His children really are — and with that revealing be freed from its bondage to decay. What an amazing picture of real hope! If we couldn’t grab hold of it in the previous stories, we get another glimpse of it here, in a multi-dimensional view of just how gritty and sweaty and bloody hope really is.
 
We don’t see the happy sparkly thing we tend to envision when someone mentions hope.  This isn’t a dreamy gossamer comforter that we snuggle into and feel all warm and happy. On the contrary, the picture Paul gives us is of a gritty bloody battle to remain open, alive, eager, patient, and surrendered to God in the midst of continual frustration, futility, curses brought on us by others, and deep searing pain. Real hope – especially for the follower of Jesus – means ferocious fighting of resentment, bitterness, depression, despair, and apathy. It brings a “deepened sense of thirst and ache,” as one of my favorite authors, Jan Meyers, put it, and leaves us on the verge of falling into the abyss, all. the. time. Real hope puts us in a place where we have to trust the all-sufficiency of Christ. And that isn’t an easy place for us. We naturally want to trust the sufficiency of ourselves. To trust in, rely on, and put the full weight of our lives in the hands of Someone we cannot see — it just goes against the current of of our nature.
 
I recently heard (in a teaching from Ravi Zacharias, I think) that “Abba” doesn’t mean “Daddy.” It actually means something a little more intimate. It was used by infants and toddlers when they wanted their father and is the equivalent of today’s “da-da.” So when Scripture tells us we cry out “Abba! Father!” what it’s really giving us a picture of is us crying out like infants, holding our arms stretched wide in a desperate longing for our “Da-da” to hold us and comfort us. Only children who have raw, gritty hope that da-da will respond continue to cry out and reach for him. 
 
Today I keep running across things that remind me of this truth of what real hope looks like; perhaps because I’m struggling mightily with disappointment and regret that’s threatening to suck me into the deep chasm of despair. So I think I just need to write out what I keep hearing God say to me today, the Hope He’s whispering to my heart and soul: This isn’t it. This isn’t all there is to Life. I’m doing something you cannot see, cannot yet understand. Trust Me. Rely on Me. Put the full weight of your life on Me. I’ve got you. Will you yet hope in me?
 
Be strong and let your hearts take courage, all you who wait for and confidently expect the Lord. — Psalm 31:24 (AMP)

Plans & New Beginnings

A new day. A new year. New beginnings. It’s a time for resolutions and goals, for re-assessing the current and making plans for the future. Whether it’s January 1st, our birthday, a new job, or some other new beginning, we tend to see them as a chance to start afresh.

I’ve never been much of a planner, not in the strictest sense. I like to dream and consider the future, but I tend to forget — or flat-out ignore — the specifics it takes to get there. At least until the moment for change is upon me. Then I’m so super-focused on those details that I can miss the bigger picture and completely freak myself out.

Yet I can come off as rather perfectionistic about details, which may cause some to think I’m a big planner. I think that perfectionism is because I’m already at the freak-out stage and trying to micro-manage every single detail.

This year I want to learn how to focus my desires and mold them into plans, even if those plans are just outlines and loose sketches. The last few years have taught me the value of focusing on the specifics because I’ve seen how my career, my dreams, my recovery, even my walk with God stall out for lack of a plan. What good is it to know where you want to go, if you don’t know how you’re going to get there?

In the past I figured I would work that out as I went along, not realizing how lost I could get on the way. I’m grateful that I never went so far out into the weeds that I lost the path altogether. I think I owe that more to God’s hand on my life than I do my own sense of direction.

This is what the Lord says: “You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  — Jeremiah 29: 10 – 11 (New Living Translation)

That God has plans for me still amazes me. That I am considered by the Almighty God is crazy in itself, but that He created a unique part for me to play in His plans for this world can just blow my mind at times. So if God has a plan, why do I need one? Shouldn’t I just wait for Him to guide me where He wants me to go?

I wrestle with these questions from time to time, and the only conclusion I can draw — more from my own experience and life than anything else — is that it’s not an either/or scenario. It’s a both/and one. It is that God has plans for me and He wants me to actively participate in the planning process. It is that God wants to guide me where He wants me to go and he wants me to create a course of action to follow — in pencil so it’s fluid, changeable.

There was no real, lasting recovery from alcoholism until Bill W. and Dr. Bob began to chart a course together that would later become known as the 12 Steps. While the steps stand alone as significant, these foundations are principles that can be found throughout Scripture. God guided, man set down a course of action.

Also, Paul sought God’s guidance as he spread the Good News of Jesus throughout Greece, Cyprus and Rome. Yet he still made plans to go to those places most pressing on his heart. Sometimes he was so set in his plans that God had to send him dreams to turn him another direction.

Yes, God has plans for me. And He is more than willing and eager to share them with me. And He also wants me to participate in this adventure by charting a course in the direction of the dreams and visions He placed in me.

How about you? Are you creating a course of action (or two) to reach the shores of a dream or vision God has given you? What are those dreams and action plans?

Practice Makes Progress

Not long ago I sat down at my piano, thinking I would play an old childhood favorite tune that was bouncing around my head. To my surprise, I found it not only difficult but almost impossible to play. I’d also discovered something similar with singing: I’ve lost most of my nearly 3 octave range and dropped from a 1st soprano to a contralto. I spent more than an hour just going over scales, cords, and fingering. What in the world is going on? I was back to the basics I thought I’d mastered as a child.

Turns out that old phrase, “use it or lose it” is truer than I’d ever imagined. I hadn’t practiced my piano – sight-reading, scales or anything else in many, many years. Nor had I exercised my voice and practiced good breathing and scales to maintain my range. I’d listened to plenty of piano and vocal music, looked at music books, and studied various musical styles. But I hadn’t put my fingers on the keys and run my scales. I hadn’t taken those music books and practiced playing or singing the music in them.

Have you considered how many things this could apply to in your own life? What are some “basics” you learned early on that you quit practicing because you thought, “I have this down now.” Or perhaps, like me with piano and voice, those things are no longer at the forefront of your life?

Growing up I had practiced to please my piano and vocal teachers, or to prepare for a recital or other performance. Once I was no longer performing or taking lessons, I ran out of reasons to practice. So I didn’t. But practice isn’t about performance, and it doesn’t “make perfect.”

Practice is about improvement and deepening understanding and joy and connection. And practice makes progress. Progress toward a goal we’ll probably never achieve – at least this side of heaven.

The writer of Hebrews said, “You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:12 – 14)

I often wonder if this passage could describe me. Am I like a baby stuck on milk? How often am I truly practicing the basic things of God – connection with Him, meditation on His Word, repentance of my wrongdoing and injury to God or others, forgiveness of those who offend or violate me, putting the full weight of my life and my will into God’s hands every day? As a child I memorized Scripture for contests, in order to get the grand prize. Even as an adult, memorizing Scripture was more a competition done with friends than it was a discipline for my benefit. When I fail to recite those passages occasionally, at least, I tend to forget them altogether. How can I “hide His word in my heart” (Psalm 119:11) if I’m not actively memorizing it regularly?

In 12-step programs, Steps 4 – 12 only work if Steps 1, 2 & 3 have been solidly worked and are continually practiced on a daily basis. They are the foundation on which the rest of the steps not only build but rest.

In Mathematics, Algebra is fundamental to understanding Calculus. And if you don’t practice Algebra at least occasionally, what happens? Can you remember, without Googling it, how to solve a quadratic equation?  When was the last time you practiced your cursive writing? Your signature, sure, but what about the rest? Can you write a 2-page letter in – legible – cursive? I seriously doubt I can.

So if all these educational basics fall into disrepair in our minds when we don’t practice, what makes us think that we can grow deeper in our relationship with God, have an ever fuller understanding of and deeper insights into Scripture, find abiding joy in all things, and have hope in the bleakest of times if we aren’t daily practicing the basic things of God’s word?

Life, like a rushing river, will always pull us in its direction rather than God’s. Just like my piano skills, and the audience of Hebrews, we will find if we are not practicing them daily we need to go back to the basics to move forward.