Random thoughts swimming in my head, in no particular order.

I miss mixing sound for worship services. But I also don’t miss it.

I miss the team camaraderie and the tight bonds of friendship formed between worship team members, including the sound team. I miss the feeling I get every time the worship team start really grooving, when the sound all comes together and you can hear everything perfectly. When I listen to the tunes that first compelled me to become a sound engineer — like I’ve been doing a lot recently — or to other songs from more recent years (aka not from the 80s) that are astoundingly well-mixed, I remember why I wanted to be a recording engineer so bad. There is nothing in this world, nothing, like listening to really great music perfectly mixed really loud on really big speakers. That is just THE Bomb! Man. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till I die, recording engineers and front-of-house (FOH) mixers have THE best jobs in the world. —–I also miss the freedom I feel to really cut loose and worship when I’m behind the sound board. For some reason I just don’t feel that freedom when I’m just sitting in the congregation… weird.

But I don’t miss the early, early mornings for setting up or the long hours from set up to tear down. And I don’t miss the stress of trying to figure out what’s buzzing or where the white noise (that’s loud static, for all you non-sound peeps) that just suddenly appeared came from (as happened last night at our church’s worship & prayer event; however, I did quickly figure out it was coming from the "house" system and not our church’s one — you can take the girl out from behind the board… ). And I don’t miss the feeling of stupidity that slaps me in the face every time I’m faced with a question about technical stuff or expectations of fixing equipment. It’s the technical aspect that kills me every time. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around it. —– Some times I think I’ll join the sound team at my "new" church  (been here nearly a year… how long is a church "new" anyway?). But then I think of the down sides and my technically-challenged self chickens out.

—Thought break—

I have a ton of posts in draft form and in various stages of unwritten-ness. The problem? So much to say, and so little ability to say it succinctly. So I tinker and edit and add and delete — and rinse and repeat. I’m hopeful most will eventually find their way to the "Publish" section of my post list. But right now they are, in all their draftiness, really bothering me. I don’t like things half-done….

PS — Marti, Alycelee — that 10-20-30 post is coming, I promise!

—A few other random thoughts—

There are times when I really love being single. This is one of them — though I can’t fully express why. I just am really enjoying the freedom and the privileges that come with not being married. It’s a nice feeling.

"Acceptance with Joy" — the flower’s name in "Hinds’ Feet On High Places" has been on my mind a lot lately. I heard a statement last week about acceptance that said, "If you are disturbed by something, it means you find some person, action, place or thing unacceptable." And that made me think of that little flower, and Much Afraid’s declaration, after considering all the twists and turns in her path to the High Places, and the desert she now found herself in: "behold, I am Thy handmaiden Acceptance with Joy!"

This really, really disturbs me (yes, it is something I find unacceptable), but I have yet been able to finish my post regarding my thoughts on it. I was at first so angry I felt sick. Now I’m just very sad. And concerned for the future of the IMB.

I start my Quantitative Literacy classes tomorrow (Algebra, Geometry, Stats, and general mathematics literacy). Pray for me! Math makes my brain go all fuzzy, and my normal intelligent self tends to disappear in favor of a glassy-eye, drooling zombie (not unlike Ben Stein’s students in Ferris Bueller).Pray for me (and my poor instructor)!

Final random thought for the night: This verse really smacked me in the face yesterday morning. I realized my gratitude to and love for God isn’t translating into generosity, and that stung rather a lot.

"But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as
generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you
only what comes from your hand." — King David, I Chronicles 29:14