Monthly Archives: November 2007

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He Gets It

Kevin Bussey gets it. He gets what it means to have boundaries, and to live with integrity. He gets what it means to be a true servant-follower of Jesus. Here’s a snippet of what he recently wrote:

Unfortunately people gauge their spiritual walk with Jesus based on a checklist of all that they have done for Him. But Jesus doesn’t want us to “do” because He has already “DONE” the work when He died on a cross for our sins.

Does this mean we don’t do anything? No. We should serve God because we want to and out of giftedness….

…I have witnessed people begging and guilting (I know it is not a word) into serving in a position just to get it filled. What ends up happening is the person who fills the position hates it and can’t perform because they aren’t serving out of their giftedness or they just give up. The people they are ministering to aren’t blessed either. I’m amused when someone tells me that God told them I should do this or that. I always say, “well He hasn’t told me.” The better way to say it is I would like you to pray about [this]. That allows the person to say yes or no.

Sometimes the best word in ministry is:

  • here it comes…
  • it is…
  • are you ready…

NO!

When was the last time you served out of the gratitude in your heart and a true desire to do the thing you are doing? Or have you been spending most of your ministry — perhaps even most of your life — saying "yes" with your mouth while screaming "NO!!" in your heart?

This strange new thing you’re looking at is called Integrity. It’s also called Boundaries, and being TrueFaced. And it will save your Life.

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“The Republicans Have Eight”

Tonight’s Republican YouTube Debate was good, I think. Interesting at
times, crazy at others and boring in spots. Here are a few random
thoughts I had. (PS the title of this post came from a song written by
a YouTube-er about the CNN debates.)

  • Huckabee is still my man. The more I listen to him, the more I
    like him. Though I admit, tonight he missed an opportunity or two and
    sounded rehearsed on a couple of points.
  • But I loved his statement that
    he would eliminate the IRS, and that got a lot of applause as well. Though I admit I did cringe a little at the same time. It’s an outrageous idea, scrapping the tax code and the IRS. One that I love, but at the same time cannot see ever actually happening. So do I vote for the person who’s realistic and safe, and who’s plans will probably succeed but not accomplish much, or for the person who’s idealistic and a risk-taker and whose ideas may not succeed but if they do would accomplish a great deal of good (in my opinion)?
  • I think some of my favorite lines of the night were also from
    Huckabee:

    • "In all due respect, we’re a better country than to punish children for what their parents did. We’re a better country than that."
    • "Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office, that’s
      what Jesus would do." (PS — I really  liked what Huckabee said about
      the death penalty too — which is what this line came from.)
  • And by the way, who knows what Jesus would do… about anything,
    really?? I’m kinda getting sick of that question, because no one knows
    the mind of God, except God. And to pretend that you could know, or
    could discern, what He would do at every turn and for every choice is
    just crazy. No one knows what God would do when faced with the death
    penalty except God. I know, I know, the question is meant to cause us
    to think about what we do before we do it, but honestly. Can we please
    stop asking ourselves and each other "what would Jesus do?" and start
    asking, "Jesus, what do You want me to do?" One
    arrogantly assumes we can know the mind of God, the other humbly asks
    Jesus for clarity and direction. Huge difference.
  • I will tell you, though, that God deals with the question of the
    death penalty every moment of every
    day. He is continually faced with the dilemma of who lives and who
    dies, and with what to do with those who do die and find themselves
    instantly before His throne. While He has made clear the path of
    salvation and redemption, none of us can know for certain what He does
    as each individual soul comes before Him for determination of where
    they will spend eternity.
    I believe His deep love for each person wrestles with His just-ness and
    holiness; one arguing for compassion the other arguing for justice; and
    that that person’s decisions in life (even in the moments on the edge
    of death), most notably their humility, repentance, and confession of who Jesus is, play
    a key part in God’s decision. But that decision, whatever it is, is between that person and God and not for any of us to know, or to judge (or to pretend we could discern). But I digress…
  • Watching Mitt Romney stumble around when someone forced him off-script,
    and especially when asked if he believes "every word" in the Bible, was
    at times humorous and at other times just painful.
  • McCain is just boring. His monotone alone drives me a little nuts. I can’t imagine four years of that.
  • One of the only two good lines McCain had all night (#2 is below) was when he stated he’d used many different guns while in the military but now he neither owns nor uses any. That last bit was almost a throw-away line, but I think it was his best — mainly because I was rather disturbed that some of the other candidates were talking so flippantly about the guns they own. McCain’s statement revealed a respect for guns as deadly weapons that, frankly, was sadly missing from most other candidates.
  • Ron Paul was an OB doc? Yikes! I don’t even want to imagine that…
  • Fred Thompson seemed rather distracted a lot of the time, losing his train of thought, struggling for words, and occasionally rambling.
  • Some of the "commercials/videos" made by the candidates
    completely baffled me; I didn’t understand what they were about or what
    message, exactly, they were trying to make. Except, of course, "vote for me!"
  • I liked Rudy’s commercial the best. That was funny right there, I don’t care who ya are! (text below)
    • As mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani faced unheard of challenges:
      runaway taxes, out of control crime, and, of course, the city’s
      nemesis, King Kong.

      Yet, Rudy prevailed.  Crime down by half, taxes cut, and annual snowfall dramatically reduced.

      Time called Rudy person of the year. Newsweek — the new mayor of
      America. And when asked, Hillary Clinton called him —[Censored!]  …but she probably
      planted the question.

  • A few more of my favorite lines:
    • "A nation that cannot and will not defend its own borders will not forever remain a sovereign nation." and "One of the things I
      would do for his generation is protect him from our generation." (Fred
      Thompson)
    • "… I have a few ideas, and maybe Hillary can be on the
      first mission [to Mars]." (Huckabee, which caused much cheering)
    • "I would hope that we would understand, my friends, that life is not "24" and Jack Bauer." (McCain)
    • "…when I was Mayor of New York City the Yankees won
      four World Championships…. and since I’ve left [office] the Yankees
      have won: none." (Giuliani)
  • I don’t understand the issue regarding gays in the military.
    While from a moral and spiritual aspect, I believe homosexuality is
    sin, I don’t believe I have the right nor the responsibility to force
    everyone to believe as I do, or live as I believe is healthiest and
    best. And I don’t understand why it is an issue that keeps someone from
    serving in the military. No one on the stage tonight, including
    Huckabee, adequately explained their reasoning for keeping the "don’t
    ask, don’t tell" policy in place. A policy, by the way, that I believe
    causes a person to live without integrity; forcing them to either
    pretend or at least not be open about who they are and what their
    motivations, intentions, and lifestyles are. I would think that
    integrity, authenticity and transparency would build more cohesion in a
    military unit than open homosexuality would tear it apart. I just don’t
    get it. Can anyone help me with this?

If you missed the debate, you can read the transcript here. And I would encourage you to do so, especially if you’re a Republican. The primaries are quickly approaching for many states and we all need to make an informed choice when we go into the voting booth.

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Remembrance

Paramount_gate
I read a post this morning that took me back a "few" years. To 1991, when I was working at Paramount Pictures.

It’s odd, really, because I was thinking longingly of the Paramount lot just this morning. Working on a studio lot is much like being on a college campus, complete with the annoyingly stupid students employees and people in crazy outfits (Candy the hat-lady anyone? Or her friend the cat-lady?). There are beautiful little parks and quad areas, old, unique historic buildings, small convenience stores for sundries, the commissary, and all the huge warehouse size studios, not to mention actors in crazy costumes and stars just popping up out of nowhere.

This morning I was specifically thinking about the commissary, and how it stayed open all morning and through the early afternoon—shut up. I was hungry and running late and knew the building cafeteria would close shortly after I got to work. Anyway, I started really missing studio life and especially Paramount. I spent nearly 13 years on that lot. Thirteen very impressionable years. I loved working there — even when I didn’t love it. I loved working on the lot, loved working in Hollywood and in the entertainment industry, loved working in television, even though I was just a lowly "assistant"; I loved it. And there are days when I really miss it. It’s like being in a family, I think. There’s a camaraderie and sense of pride for your studio home, and you can complain and moan about it endlessly but no outsider better say anything bad about it or you’ll snatch ’em bald-headed. And now matter how long you’ve been gone, you still get homesick once in a while. Once it’s in your blood, there’s no getting it out.

So this morning I’m already missing my "home" and my peeps, when I read this post by Ron Moore, the executive producer of Battlestar Galactica (one of my favorite shows; if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend renting the DVDs and getting hooked. It is one of the best pieces of television out there) and I started missing Paramount all over again.

At the risk of writing an overly long post, I want to tell the story of my encounter with Ron Moore. I’d love to send him an email about it but I cannot find an addy — and he’d probably be bored silly with it anyway — so for now this will be my "open letter" to Ron. If you’re not up for a trip down someone else’s Memory Lane, now would be the time to get some popcorn.

Back in 1991 I was a young dreamer with big plans to be a television/feature film writer-producer. I’d been working in television development for two years, and was very ready to move on. I wanted to work on a television show, so I interviewed with every show on the lot that would give me 30 seconds, including Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG). In fact, that was one of my earliest interviews. I met with Ron and Brannon Braga one beautiful late spring morning to interview for a job as their assistant; a job Ron described as "Den Mother" to a bunch of crazy and wonderful writers who needed nurture and a lot of cleaning up after. I did my best to impress them with my knowledge of Trek history, scripts (I’d read every single one for the two years prior), characters, and storylines, as well as my enthusiasm for the franchise itself, without sounding too much like the drooling fan I was.

I have admitted before that I am a Trek fan. A Trekkie (not Trekker; I’m old school, not a snob about my fannishness) who once collected tons of memorabilia. I’ve since divested myself of most of it, but the fan within refuses to die. I watched TOS (The Original Series) as a child — though I must admit that at first I hated the show because it supplanted my beloved "Lost in Space" in the prime 3pm viewing time. But I soon forgave and embraced TOS as my new beloved favorite. As a pre-teen/teen I read every Trek fiction book there was (passed between my two sisters and me), went to all the Trek films within the first week, if not on opening day; and, as part of my 21st birthday celebration, went to my first Trek Convention during Star Trek’s 20th anniversary celebration year, where William Shatner and others regaled us with stories of their adventures during filming. When TNG began airing, I never missed an episode (though I did miss episodes of subsequent iterations of Trek). I don’t know if my pure-fan heart was obvious to Ron and Brannon — I tried not to look like a complete dork — but I was in heaven just being in the Hart building among such history. And I wanted that job soooo bad.

The interview was in the same office I had met with Hans Beimler and Rich Manning a year or two before (can’t remember now). Ron mentions Hans and Rich in his post, and as I read I remembered realizing that his office was their old one during our interview, but I’d forgotten that fact till today. Anyway, if memory serves (sometimes it doesn’t), Ron told me as our time ended that I was their pick of the people they’d interviewed, but that they had already offered the job to someone outside — a friend or friend of a friend, something like that — but had to go through the union-required three lot-employee interviews. They were very apologetic for making me "waste" my time and seemed sincere in both their apologies and their desire to offer me a job. I was bummed but I understood. It happens. I was just excited and happy that I’d made a good impression and a good contact for the future (btw, that policy of having to interview three lot employees was eliminated from our next union contract because so many of us had gone on wasted interviews and complained very loudly about it).

Flash forward a couple of months. I’d finally managed to land, at the very end of the "staffing season," a job on the show "Dear John." Two weeks later I get a call from Ron Moore (himself!!) stating that the woman they’d given the job to had quit to take a better job on another show and I was their first choice to replace her. Oh. My. Gosh! Star Trek! Ron Moore! Wants me!! How cool is that!!

I had the most bizarre mixture of excitement, pride, and sorrow I’d ever had in my life. While I was elated and humbled that they would remember me and, even more, want to hire me, I knew I could not in good conscience leave the show I’d just started to go work for someone else. I was later told repeatedly that I’d been foolish to think that way; that many people left shows during production to take better offers. But that’s just not who I am; I didn’t want to leave my bosses and co-workers in a lurch the way that other assistant had just left Ron and Brannon and the TNG staff. I had to, with much respect, honor, humility and sorrow, turn down the offer. And explained all this to Ron (at least I think I did).

It. Killed. Me. Can I tell you? It utterly killed me to turn that opportunity down. But I just had to for the sake of my own integrity and conscience. Not to mention that I felt Ron and Brannon would always wonder if I would leave them should a "better offer" come along (is there such a thing??). I don’t ever want my bosses to think I’d leave them hanging.

I look back on it now and sometimes wonder where I’d be, what I’d be doing now, if I had taken that job. I think I would have stayed till the end of Ron’s run on the various Treks, and perhaps followed him to his next few shows, if he was willing — or I was interested. Ron went on to work on two of my favorite sci-fi shows, Roswell and the aforementioned BSG, so that would have been very fun. But I also wonder what it would have done to my conscience and my heart. I’m a pretty sensitive girl, and when I violate my own code of ethics, even in a minor way, it weighs very heavy on my soul. I usually don’t survive long before I have to correct the error and make things right. And I don’t know how I would have made that situation right.

I also don’t know if I would have ended up leaving Hollywood behind and living in India in 2001 and Cyprus in 2002-03, and eventually moving to Nashville three years ago. As sad as I am that missed the opportunity to work with Ron, I think the former would have been the greater tragedy. My life is so much richer because of these experiences. I realize each time I look back with longing and a pinch of regret at that summer day in 1991, that as painful as that decision was, it put me on a path that I would not change for all the precious gems in the universe.

I have deep respect for Ron as a writer-producer and as a person. Our one meeting meant the world to me both as a Trek fan and as a prospective assistant, and his phone call and job offer did more for my ego and self-confidence than I can truthfully measure. To him it was probably just a quick call to solve a frustrating problem; to me, it was a solid affirmation that I was in the right business, on the right track and had what it takes to succeed.

Ultimately I think my life took the direction it was meant to take. I’m convinced that was summer day was a defining moment in my life, and a gift of a new direction — even though that new direction wasn’t reavealed for another nine years. Isn’t God amazing? And isn’t Life good! Man, I am blessed.

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Mixing, Draft Posts, & General Randomness

Random thoughts swimming in my head, in no particular order.

I miss mixing sound for worship services. But I also don’t miss it.

I miss the team camaraderie and the tight bonds of friendship formed between worship team members, including the sound team. I miss the feeling I get every time the worship team start really grooving, when the sound all comes together and you can hear everything perfectly. When I listen to the tunes that first compelled me to become a sound engineer — like I’ve been doing a lot recently — or to other songs from more recent years (aka not from the 80s) that are astoundingly well-mixed, I remember why I wanted to be a recording engineer so bad. There is nothing in this world, nothing, like listening to really great music perfectly mixed really loud on really big speakers. That is just THE Bomb! Man. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till I die, recording engineers and front-of-house (FOH) mixers have THE best jobs in the world. —–I also miss the freedom I feel to really cut loose and worship when I’m behind the sound board. For some reason I just don’t feel that freedom when I’m just sitting in the congregation… weird.

But I don’t miss the early, early mornings for setting up or the long hours from set up to tear down. And I don’t miss the stress of trying to figure out what’s buzzing or where the white noise (that’s loud static, for all you non-sound peeps) that just suddenly appeared came from (as happened last night at our church’s worship & prayer event; however, I did quickly figure out it was coming from the "house" system and not our church’s one — you can take the girl out from behind the board… ). And I don’t miss the feeling of stupidity that slaps me in the face every time I’m faced with a question about technical stuff or expectations of fixing equipment. It’s the technical aspect that kills me every time. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around it. —– Some times I think I’ll join the sound team at my "new" church  (been here nearly a year… how long is a church "new" anyway?). But then I think of the down sides and my technically-challenged self chickens out.

—Thought break—

I have a ton of posts in draft form and in various stages of unwritten-ness. The problem? So much to say, and so little ability to say it succinctly. So I tinker and edit and add and delete — and rinse and repeat. I’m hopeful most will eventually find their way to the "Publish" section of my post list. But right now they are, in all their draftiness, really bothering me. I don’t like things half-done….

PS — Marti, Alycelee — that 10-20-30 post is coming, I promise!

—A few other random thoughts—

There are times when I really love being single. This is one of them — though I can’t fully express why. I just am really enjoying the freedom and the privileges that come with not being married. It’s a nice feeling.

"Acceptance with Joy" — the flower’s name in "Hinds’ Feet On High Places" has been on my mind a lot lately. I heard a statement last week about acceptance that said, "If you are disturbed by something, it means you find some person, action, place or thing unacceptable." And that made me think of that little flower, and Much Afraid’s declaration, after considering all the twists and turns in her path to the High Places, and the desert she now found herself in: "behold, I am Thy handmaiden Acceptance with Joy!"

This really, really disturbs me (yes, it is something I find unacceptable), but I have yet been able to finish my post regarding my thoughts on it. I was at first so angry I felt sick. Now I’m just very sad. And concerned for the future of the IMB.

I start my Quantitative Literacy classes tomorrow (Algebra, Geometry, Stats, and general mathematics literacy). Pray for me! Math makes my brain go all fuzzy, and my normal intelligent self tends to disappear in favor of a glassy-eye, drooling zombie (not unlike Ben Stein’s students in Ferris Bueller).Pray for me (and my poor instructor)!

Final random thought for the night: This verse really smacked me in the face yesterday morning. I realized my gratitude to and love for God isn’t translating into generosity, and that stung rather a lot.

"But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as
generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you
only what comes from your hand." — King David, I Chronicles 29:14

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Un.Believable.

3.029….. The price of gas per gallon I paid tonight
32……… The temperature it was outside as I drove home tonight at 8:30pm
2………. Pounds I keep playing with (not on purpose) for the last three months — losing, then gaining, then losing again.
2.0/4.0… The score I do not want to see on my submitted work (3.0 is passing), but which I’ve seen on two out of the five sections of my final. Thank God I can resubmit with revisions!
4.0/4.0… The score I can’t comprehend how I got on one of the sections of my final, but am not complaining that I got it.
30……… Number of days I’ve lived a whole new way of life, only with God’s help, in His strength and through His power.

Life is crazy. God is good.

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I’m Gonna Make it After All

Maryhat_largeYesterday I completed my first year of college. Today I began the second. Can you believe it? I made it through the first year. Oh. My. Gosh. I may really do this!

My academic mentor sent me an email today welcoming me to my second year/Term 3. For some reason I started hearing the theme from Mary Tyler Moore show playing in my head and I thought, "maybe I’m gonna make it through college after all!" Yippeee! If I’d worn a hat today I’d’ve thrown it in the air.

For those of you already-graduates or who never bothered with college who are thinking about now that I’m a little insane, let me tell you exactly why this is a huge deal for me:

a) I’m over 40 and am finally getting my bachelor’s degree;

b) I’ve never been one to see myself completing really hard tasks. I usually quit, or at least see myself as a quitter because even if my body made it to the finish, my mind and spirit gave up long before;

c) It’s even harder to go to school full-time when you’re old(er);

d) I’m taking 24 credit hours per semester in the hopes of graduating in 3 years instead of 4; that’s nearly double what a full-time student takes;

e) I’m working full-time at the same time;

f) ohmygawd no wonder I’m tired all the time and have no social life!!

g) I just didn’t want to end on "f"; it’s not a good letter for a student.

So everybody together now, let’s throw our hats in the air and celebrate the beginning of Year Two of Lu’s University Education Madness. Yippee! I’m gonna make it after all!!

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone
But it’s time you started living
It’s time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all

Love is All Around — by Paul Williams

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Seriously…?

Just a few random-y thoughts and memories that have been swimming around in my brain…

  • I used to work in this building way back in the mid-80s, as a receptionist Broadway20dept20store20bldg220072_2 for the management company who owned/operated both the Broadway Hollywood and the Hollywood Taft buildings. It’s so weird to think my old office is now someone’s very own bought-and-paying-for home in "downtown" Hollywood. That’s just craziness.
  • While working at the above, I had my first introduction to "Angelyne." Anyone who’s ever worked in Hollywood area during the 80s and 90s knows Angelyne. She’s a very bosomy woman determined to prove you don’t have to do anything to be famous except Mur0021 get your boobs mug out there for everyone to see, so she put up murals of herself all over Hollywood (this one, on the wall of the Plaza Hotel, was the one I first saw, and had to look at every day on my way in to work — Welcome to Hollywood!). At the time I thought she was a complete joke and would never have any real success. Silly me. I was right about her, BUT… it occurred to me this morning that she was just paving the way for the Paris Hiltons, and the "stars" of The Hills and other pseudo-reality shows, and all the other socialite nobodies who’ve managed to capture the attention of every photographer and tabloid in the nation. They are the new breed of Angelyne. Way to go! And the Original? Well, a quick Google search assured me she’s still going strong and turning heads in Hollywood. Crazy.
  • How many people think the WGA is going to strike in the next week or so? [muttering/counting]… Uh, yep. That’s everybody. — Wait. What do you mean you had no idea the WGA was even in negotiations with the AMPTP? What do you mean you don’t know what the WGA or AMPTP is?? What do you mean you don’t care what they mean or who they are or what they’re doing??? How could you people not care about television or movies or…. Oh, yeah. I live in Nashville now.
  • PS Say goodbye to your fall television programming (those who actually watch) and say hello to Reality TV Overload. Woohoo.
  • Yes, I’m still a little obsessed with All Things Entertainment Industry.
  • I remember the last writer’s strike (in 1988). I was just starting out my career in Hollywood and had a safe accounting clerk job at Universal. I hardly felt a thing, financially. But I watched businesses around me from restaurants and caterers to florists go out of business never to return because all their business had come from the studios and production houses. With production at a stand-still their business dried up, and they couldn’t move fast enough to replace it. So most ended up turning out the lights for good. This strike, if the hype surrounding it is correct, threatens to be worse than the last. Hollywood will not be a pretty place to work for a while. Kinda makes me glad I’m no longer there… kinda…
  • For some reason I’ve been missing the Industry, missing Hollywood/LA in general and missing working at a studio a lot right now. I’m not sure why. This was the funnest time to work on the Paramount lot too; with all the Christmas decorations that went up right around Thanksgiving weekend and all the presents arriving from the many, many contacts who wanted to keep in good graces with whoever I happened to be working for. Yeah… good times. 😉 Even without the presents; I just loved the way the lot looks at Christmas. Spectacular!
  • Speaking of Christmas… I think I might actually be up for it this year…
  • I miss Disneyland at Christmas too.
  • Now I’m just really rambling…