Monthly Archives: October 2007

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True Religion

Every once in a while I check out what’s happening at SBC Outpost. Today I found this post about Bobbye Rankin that is very much worth a moment of your time.

Bobbye is the wife of Dr. Jerry Rankin, president of the IMB. Both of these godly people had a powerful impact on my life and ministry from the time I got to the International Learning Center for orientation on. I listened intently their stories of struggle and pain during their first term overseas, and they gave me comfort, especially once I was in the middle of my own hellish "first term." Bobbye led a women’s conference our region held about three months after I arrived and God used her words to strengthen my spirit and encourage my soul. As I walked through the following years of agony and darkness, I kept hearing Bobbye’s words of hope ring in my ears. Knowing that she had survived life-threatening illness, deaths of loved ones, loneliness, fear, and incredible obstacles to their ministry, all within their first few years on the field gave me hope and determination that I could and would make it through my own struggles. If she could do I it I could do it.

She probably doesn’t remember me at all — nor would Dr. Rankin remember me either. But I remember them. I remember their graciousness, their kindness and generosity of time and energy; their treatment of every one of us missionaries as one of their own  children or close friends. I never had any doubt about Dr. Rankin’s or Bobbye’s care and concern for me and my ministry on the field.

I will forever love Bobbye Rankin for her amazing and inspiring servant leadership to all the women serving overseas. This post, written by her son, gives you a glimpse into the woman whose life, ministry and servanthood helped me hang on to God in my darkest times, and it is so worth the time to read. Please go and learn about a woman who helped me become who I am today, and who I am becoming for tomorrow.

Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. — James 1:27 The Message

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I Have Been Shown Love

One of the things I love about Grey’s Anatomy (the television show, not the big book) is the music. I have been introduced to some amazing musicians and songs through the show’s constant background soundtrack. The final song of tonight’s episode so grab my heart that I just had to find it and buy/download it. It took about two hours to ferret out (ABC apparently doesn’t update it’s music guide page until after the episode has aired in every time zone, much to my frustration), but I found it. It’s called "I Will Show You Love" by Kendall Payne. And it is good. So good. It is my story, — all our stories — from God’s perspective. Man, I love Him! He is sooo good.

I’ve posted the lyrics to "I Will Show You Love" here for your spirit’s edification. Read. This is God’s love letter to you.


I will show you love like you’ve never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word

You will come alive again and call the trying times your friend
The pain that you have suffered through will never get the best of you
You will hope in something real that won’t depend on how you feel
When you call my name then I will answer, answer

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water where you have no control
So scared to death of failure you sacrifice your soul, please let that go

You have climbed an uphill road, You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights and nearly given up the fight
Watched your dreams like falling stars the heartaches made you who you are
Now looking back you see that I have always been there

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Where you gonna hide? Where you gonna hide from Me?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go that I can’t see?

I have heard you cry and it breaks my heart for I love you so
I would never lie, this is not the end there is still a hope

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Words and Music by Kendall Payne
Song available on iTunes

UPDATE: If this song really touched your heart, please visit Kendall Payne’s website and let her know by signing her guestbook. Also, all the lyrics to all her songs from this album (Paper Skin) can be found on her website as well.

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Vote 2008

I have always taken my privilege as an American to vote very seriously. I made sure to be informed about the major issues, propositions, and candidates and not to vote for someone I didn’t know anything about.

That said, I often picked my candidate based more on who the pundits said was electable,  and/or who was my party’s candidate than I did based on my own serious study of the candidates themselves, their character and their personal convictions.

This election is very different for me. I am so very disappointed in President Bush. I had high hopes and expectations for him, based on the campaign he ran in 2000. He claimed he would do so many things, and accomplish so much, yet most of it has never come to pass. And many things he’s pushed hard for in recent years are things with which I strongly disagree. And he’s blown it over and over — New Orleans/FEMA is a great example — and never once owned up to the fact that he screwed up. No humility. And that’s very disappointing.

For the first time ever I’m closely watching every debate and looking very closely at every candidate — even the democrats — to see not only who’s convictions most closely mirror my own on issues I’ve decided are key for me at this time, but also who’s character really does seem to be genuine and solid.

For a while now I’ve hadn’t seen someone I felt I could really trust. I liked some of what some Republican candidates say, but not all of it. While some have me on a couple of issues, they lost me on many others. I want to like Ron Paul, but too often he shoots himself in the foot spouting off some radical ideas with which I don’t agree. There’s something about Mitt Romney I just don’t  like; he smiles too much. I don’t trust someone who smiles all the time (which is one of the reasons I don’t trust Joel Osteen, btw). And his smile is—smarmy — at least to me. I like Fred, but sometimes he scares me. Giuliani is okay, but not my favorite; McCain is a little too hawkish for me and Tancredo doesn’t even show up on my radar. Only two candidates have consistently risen to the top of my list; Fred Thompson and Mike Huckabee.

But I think I’ve found my candidate.  Friday evening I watched Mike Huckabee on Glen Beck — you can read the transcript of their conversation here and I gotta tell ya, I was very impressed with him. Very impressed. I’ve been watching him closely anyway; he’s impressed me in the debates — especially when he held his own against Ron Paul. But Friday evening he won me over.  He clearly, concisely, and passionately but intelligently laid out his convictions and his platform and I heard much of my own heart echoed there. His stand on energy, the economy, taxes, securing our borders and national security, and even health care not only made incredible sense but closely mirrored my own opinions and convictions. We’re certainly not "of one mind" on everything, but then again, can you ever find that?

Also, Huckabee’s demeanor and body language was appropriate to the topics of conversation; he didn’t smile too much or smirk at all. I sensed no pride or arrogance or any sense of entitlement. What I saw was a humble, passionate, rather witty man absolutely convinced of his convictions and convinced he had some answers (not all; again, humility) to America’s problems and a way make America an even better nation.

For the first time in my life I am actually making a decision on a candidate not based on electability first but based first and foremost on my own convictions of what needs to be done and what is best for America. And it feels good. 🙂 And I’m actually willing to, and considering, volunteering for the campaign — again, for the first time — to help get the word out about Huckabee so he will be electable. He impressed me that much. I encourage you to read the transcript of the Glen Beck show, check out his website and his stand on the issues, and decide for yourself whether this is a man of character who would a) return America to the constitution it was based upon, and b) lead America into a better future. As for me, I think I’m sold.

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This Morning’s Meditation

This is what I read and have been listening to this morning… it just filled me with incredible hope! So I thought I’d share it on this crazy Monday morning. I realize it might be rather corny to post it, but it just really started off my day right and I just had to share it.

Take a moment to soak in God’s love and grace today. He is indeed good.

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there’s one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
   his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He’s all I’ve got left

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
   to the woman who diligently seeks. — Lamentations 3:19-25

Surely it was for my benefit
       that I suffered such anguish.
       In your love you kept me
       from the pit of destruction;
       you have put all my sins
       behind your back. — Isa. 38:17

Doxology
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Hallelujah! Amen!

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To Trust Him More

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word;
Just to rest upon his promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

Words and Music by Louisa Stead

This song has been in my head for days, so I thought I’d put the lyrics up so it could be in yours too (aren’t I sweet!).

This was one of my mom’s favorite hymns. I remember many nights as a child hearing her play it on the piano after I’d gone to bed. She used to say her piano "practice" time — after us kids were in bed and her chores were done for the evening — was her worship time; her private time to worship God with her fingers, with her mind (as she sung the lyrics in her head, or out loud) and with her spirit. I fell asleep many nights to mom’s piano worship, as she played her way through hymns and Bill Gaither songs. I can’t think of a better way to slip into restful sleep. Perhaps that’s why as an adult I so often use music to help me sleep; especially when I’m stressed.

Tonight I’m listening to Casting Crowns sing this old hymn. I’m remembering my mom. But I’m also thinking about my own life. And how God has proved Himself faithful over and over; proved Himself completely, utterly and unconditionally trustworthy. Yet I still struggle to trust Him with pieces of my heart and life. I pray for grace to trust Him more.

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Living The Real Thing

Sometimes I miss Southern California. The last 24 hours I’ve had several bad bouts of SoCal homesickness.

Some friends from Mosaic called me last night. One friend is visiting from Oklahoma and three others gathered at the home of a fourth, where the first was staying (got all that?), to hang out and visit with the long-lost friend. My name came up and someone got the cool idea to call me and let me in on some of the fun. I loved it!! I got to talk to each one for a bit, even though some of them were distracted by children and cooking "issues," (clean that oven yet, Deb?) and it was so, so good to hear their voices. I miss their fellowship.

Then today, after some good fellowship with new friends from church, I wandered into the Disney Store and got huge pangs of SoCal-homesickness again. I miss Disneyland! Most of all I miss the ability to just go down there whenever I want (I used to have the premium annual pass; the one with no black-out days) and just soak up the atmosphere. While historic Franklin has some of that Main Street feel, it just isn’t the same as the Disney version. Sad, isn’t it; how often we prefer fantasy to reality?

That’s something I’m realizing more and more these days: how often in my life I traded in reality for a fantasy of my own making, choosing to live inside my head instead of in the moment. My grammar school teachers called it "daydreaming," but fantasizing is a much truer definition. I wasn’t just idly passing the time, I was escaping reality, which was either too boring or too painful to stay connected to. So I created a different life for myself in my head, complete with a different family, home and even city. I started this habit so young I can’t even remember a time in my life when it wasn’t a part of my day. It got to the point that I didn’t know how to live completely and always "in the moment." I still don’t.

But I’m learning.

And what I’m discovering on a daily basis is that Life is so much sweeter than I ever fantasized it to be! Not easier — because everything in my fantasies was that easy-hard where the sweat is just as fake as the "reality" it comes from — No, not easier. Just sweeter. There is a richness, a deep richness to Life that only comes when you are truly present in every moment intimately connected with Jesus that cannot be adequately described, or understood, apart from reality.You cannot create this amazing—how do I call it??? — this amazing depth and fullness of life in your head; you cannot imagine it even if you have the creative genius of a thousand Lucases and Spielbergs. I’ve at times been accused of dwelling too much on the pain I experienced four years ago when my parents died and my team fell apart and my dreams disintegrated before my eyes. But the thing is, it’s not the pain I dwell on, it’s how God met me in the midst of that pain and made life so incredibly sweet. Oh so sweet!! Even though I was in agony, Life was so full and rich and sweet. And still is. Still! You cannot create that. Only God can do that. He started me down a new path and into a new life during that time, and I wouldn’t trade any of it for all the world. It showed me just how good Life really is when you spend it staring into the Eyes of Jesus. Oh, God I am blessed!

Last night after I said my goodbyes to my friends, I didn’t hang up. I stayed on the line and just listened to the fellowship of old friends as the receiver was carried (apparently across the room) to its cradle. What an amazing experience! It was like I was there in person, just listening to the various conversations and watching these wonderful friends enjoy each other’s company. Once the connection was severed and the line went dead I felt deep pangs in my heart. I miss the fellowship of these friends. They are amazing, beautiful, dynamic God-dreamers who so often inspire me and fill my heart with warmth and goodness.

It would be so easy for me to romanticize our time together, re-framing it in my head as perfect and holding it up as a comparison to which all my current and future communities of faith must measure up. It’s what I’ve all too often done throughout my life, compared the present to a romanticized past and found the former severely lacking. But that’s just as much living in a fantasy as my "daydreams" were. While the times these amazing friends and I had together were God-ordained, they were far from perfect. We argued and fought and hurt each other, we stumbled over our own brokenness, and struggled with our own issues and insecurities. We made each other cry and shout, and not necessarily in good ways, and we didn’t always forgive or admit wrong-doing. And if we were to spend more than 24 hours cooped up together, even after so long apart, I’m sure we’d all walk away frustrated by silly little annoyances that totally grated on our nerves to the point of distraction.

Sitting in the silence after that wonderful phone call I had to remind myself of these things; I had to go back in my mind and remember some of the bad times and hard times to bring myself back into a balanced perspective. No matter how much I miss them or how dear they are to my heart, their’s is not the only sweet fellowship I have ever had or will ever have in my life. God has other friends in waiting for me, some of whom He "conveniently" arranged to have invite me to lunch today so that I could experience the truth that my quota of friends isn’t filled yet. There will be more "e’spose your toes" groups, more amazing song-writing sessions with talented musician friends, more four-friends-singing-groups, more New Year’s Eve drop-in parties, more middle of the night conversations that last till dawn, more sweet fellowship with amazing God-dreamers. Isn’t He amazing?Lu_at_the_rippys_with_a_sharp_objec

And Disneyland? Well, Main Street is just an airplane ride away. And anyway, Fantasyland is fun to visit, but I don’t want to live there anymore.

PS — this is me not long after coming back from overseas in 2003. Not sure why the Rippys let me play with a sharp object… From the look on my face, that wasn’t exactly the wisest decision they’ve ever made. 😉

PPS — I stole this picture from Ron’s MySpace page. Sshhh!! Don’t tell him.