I could so easily become a stalker. I’ve figured out many of the in-and-outs of "Googling" someone and checking those background report sites without actually having to pay the $50 to get a report. I don’t have great success with really common names like John Smith. But I don’t do too bad, if I do say so myself.
Yesterday a friend I haven’t seen or heard from in several years came to my mind and just stayed there. The desire to hear from her and know what’s up in her life became so strong I not only sent an email to her last known email addy, but I Googled her as well. Let me just say, she has a very common Asian name. I didn’t realize how common till I googled it. And got about as many pages as I might for "John Smith". Whoa. And yet…
Within the first few pages I was able to find a blog of someone who had my friend’s name all over it. The guy recently moved to Asia and my friend (and former roommate), true to her amazingly generous spirit and major gift of hospitality, greeted him with open arms and showed him all around the city. There were even pictures of my friend! Not only that, but the reason I found the blog to begin with is because another friend of ours from Los Angeles was also named: as my old friend’s (now) roommate. It was a dead give-away. Otherwise, I would have been searching through hundreds of pages of search results. Not the way I wanted to spend my evening.
The coolest thing is that my friend is back in Asia. She had come home from the same city a few years ago because her job had ended. There was a guy she’d dated off and on before leaving LA and now he wanted to try again. They were going to spend the holidays with his family in 2005 and that’s the last I heard. But that’s not unusual for my friend; neither she nor I are the greatest at keeping in touch with people (why do you think I have a blog???), so I never thought too much about not hearing from her regularly. I figured eventually we’d catch up. Although, I do have to admit shock when I realized just how long it has been (since early 2006). I usually try to check in with people once a year, at least.
Anyway, my friend and another friend of ours, who was longing very much to move to the city in which they now live, are apparently sharing an apartment. It’s obvious by reading the blog posts of the author — who is not someone I know, but looks very familiar; I’ll bet anything I knew him back at Mosaic LA — that my two girlfriends are doing great things for Jesus, building wonderful relationships with people and having a wonderful time. I know my friend well enough to know when her smile is forced and when its genuine. It’s all real. And the smile on our other friend’s face is, well, priceless. She looks like a little kid at Disneyland for the first time.
I cannot tell you how excited all this made me feel! My friend back overseas in the thick of living life for Jesus; doing exactly what she loves and has wanted to do for years, and in a city and culture that desperately needs Him. I’m so proud of her for doing it and for what she’s accomplishing. Not only that, I’m so excited to see pictures of her that are only two months old. She looks amazing! I think that’s what happens to you when you live the life God dreams for you. Your whole countenance changes.
Anyway, back to me (because it is all about me, you know). Now I have a sticky dilemma. I don’t want to email my friend (again), even though I’m dying to tell her how proud and happy I am that she’s back in Asia and that she looks absolutely terrific. I’m too embarrassed! I don’t want to admit I was "stalking" her on the Internet with the help of Google.
So, like, how far gone am I, anyway? Is it time to call the cops on myself yet…?
I happened over after noteing your comments on another blog. You said Mosaic in LA. Did you go there? I love McMannes’ book the Barbarian Way.
Agape, Alyce
I don’t think you’re a stalker. No men in white jackets needed (yet). I would be honored that an old friend took the time to look me up. You don’t have to say exactly how much google digging you did to find her. š I say email her. What’s the worst that could happen?
Still enjoying your blog,
Emily
That’s the problem with our culture: certain words take on meanings far beyond what they should have. You’re not stalking anyone. You just want to find out, using commonly available tools, what she’s up to. Would she be glad to hear from you? Beats me. Only one way to find out.
Alycelee — thanks for reading! Yes, I went to Mosaic LA — for over 10 years, actually. When it was still known as Church on Brady.
Yeah, Erwin is a great author and speaker. I used to attend all three services (or four when we had them) so I could soak up all the God-stuff in his teaching. Actually, I usually served on the sound team for two of the services and then just attended the third. š
Emily — Thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I will email her again and mention it. The worst that could happen is for her to laugh at me; she did that often enough when we lived together… I guess that means I’m entertaining… or just plain weird. š
Larry — good to hear from you again, man. I was getting worried about you. And yeah, I supposed “stalking” is too strong a word. Now, if I flew to Asia and just watched her from a distance, that might qualify. But frankly, I can’t afford the airline ticket. And if I could, I sure wouldn’t just watch her from a distance!
I had a similar awkward experience a few years ago – I met a guy through mutual friends and we went out a bit… but I was curious about how old he was. Had an unusual name, so it was only a few minute’s work to find him listed in one of those whitepages-type things that told me how old he was (a decade older than me – not so old as it would rule things out but enough so it would make a difference.) But then, what? I felt so bad I had looked him up instead of just asking!
Marti – I KNOW!!! Isn’t that just the worst? It’s kinda like peeking at your Christmas presents and ruining the surprise of Christmas morning. You can’t stand to not know, but once you know it almost feels like Christmas is ruined…