Sorry for the language but it’s the only thing that fits my mood for the day. I was in a nasty snit all day and I really have no rational reason why.

I only know it started early this morning, perhaps when TiVo was trying to record something random for the umpteen millionth time when all I wanted was to watch GMA. It grew when I once again couldn’t lock my front door with my key because the lock is too stiff (guess it needs WD-40??) forcing me to lock it from the inside, go through the back door and lock that then walk through the wet grass (it rained early this morning) to get to my car. And it exploded fully with all the idiots on the road this morning who insisted on doing 10 mph in front of me down every road I went even though there was no traffic in front of them and the speed limit was 40+. Aaaauuugghhh!

My Royal Bitch Mode (RBM) continued unabated throughout work, as my boss found nit-picky errors in the formatting of the Budget Directives I was desperately trying to get out to our IT department for web publication. Poor man had to put up with me snapping and being utterly snarky at every turn.

The RBM kept its strong hold on me as I drove home, once again behind people going 10
mph down 35mph+ streets all because a few rain drops dared to fall on their cars. All the way to the grocery store I spewed forth words that would make a sailor blush.

It didn’t get any better as I walked the isles of Publix wracking my brain for all the
things I needed to get (forgot to write a list), looking in vain for several items I really wanted to get and never found and failing miserably at avoiding all the children and haggard mothers creating chaos in every isle.

I know I was a complete and total bitch all day. I tried not to let it take me completely down, but the RB inside pinned me to the floor and took over in spite of my every effort. And no matter what I tried I could not get rid of the ‘tude and act like a lady.

I didn’t deserve any reward, but I gave myself one anyway — I guess for just surviving the day without killing anyone. I treated myself to something I haven’t had in nearly four months, a Starbucks iced chai latte (I broke the caffeine habit at the end of May). It tastes wonderful, and took the edge of the RB. Now that I’m safe at home and in my comfort clothes and watching my TiVo-recorded shows, the RB is calming down — perhaps even getting sleepy.

Sometimes its a pain to be a woman — the hormones and emotions just boiling over and spilling out everywhere. It can be overwhelming. I don’t know if this was just hormones, or perhaps a side-effect from the tapering off of my antidepressants (I cut my current dosage in half last week in an effort — and under my doctor’s supervision, btw — to get off the antidepressants all together, taking at least a month or more to do so), or whether the RBM was just due to being so tired after a long and exhausting weekend, allowing emotions to flow more freely and without my usual filters.

It was all just so exhausting, keeping pace with the RB. She, or rather I — because it really is me, just a part of me I don’t like so much — can be a raging lunatic when I’m in that mode. It’s embarrassing, and yet I just did not have the energy today to fight it
off.

Do men have to deal this this kind of stuff? Do you guys find yourselves struggling with
your emotions, or with bad attitudes — days when you are just a "bitch" for lack of a better word? I know my gay friends would have their bitchy days, but then again, they are more in tune with their feminine side than the average man.

What is it with us women, that we have such emotional spill-age??

Sheesh. What a day. I pity the people who found themselves in my path today. All I gotta say is, I’m so glad the day is over and I hope I don’t have a repeat tomorrow (and yeah, I’m in an Emma Thompson/Much Ado About Nothing sort of mood).