I can’t remember a time in my adult life that I didn’t worry at least a little about money. Even when I had no car payments and was able to give above and beyond my normal tithe I still worried about not having enough.

Perhaps I got it from my dad, who stock-piled away money in all manner of ways "in case of emergency". And who also led me to feel as a child that I would bankrupt the family by asking for a flute so I could play in the band like one of my friends, or by asking to go to CalArts, a college that still grabs my heart and puts a sting in the pit of my stomach just going to its website to link it here.

That worry grew 10-fold when my parents died.  Who will take care of me now should I get in trouble? Through the last few years I’ve discovered who. God, that’s who. Through my friends like  Wendy, Larry, Joyce, the Rippys, the McManus’s  (both families) my sister Nina, and many others, not to mention new friends here in Nashville — Natalie, Amy and my church, People’s Church — God has proven again and again that He will take care of me no matter what happens.

Money will be tighter now with a car payment. I spent lots of money "accessorizing" my new couch, so that makes things a tad tighter than they might have been. No end table will be bought for a while (and I know just the one when I get enough cash). Time to really live on by my budget; something I’ve not actually done in a long time.

Larry  wrote recently about finding freedom in Christ and how it looks different for each person. What it seems to look like for me, at least right now, is having to trust in Jesus for my financial freedom and security. It’s a hard, hard lesson for this insecure woman to learn.

As I browsed my favorite blogs tonight, catching up on my reading and desperately
trying to distract myself from my shrinking bank account, I came across this. The Poverty Counter.

Wow. What a wake up call. I’ve seen the world’s poor, some of the poorest anyway, in Ethiopia and in India and even a little in China. Each time I was convinced I’d never be able to be materialistic again. It’s just stuff, after all.

Turns out I was wrong. Materialism is a disease I cannot seem to fully flush from my system. It creeps back in when I’m not paying attention and bites me in the butt at the most unexpected times.

I downloaded the ticker for my laptop. I need to be reminded regularly that there are too many others out there that don’t even have enough to eat. Download the ticker and the screensaver. Let’s remind each other regularly that we are truly blessed. And that God expects us to bless others in return.

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

HT: Randy Elrod