Its around this time that one’s stress level goes through the roof. If the thought of finding a parking space at any shopping establishment isn’t enough to drive you to road rage, the thought of spending a "joyous holiday" with family most likely will.

I know. None of us suffer from that problem. We all have perfect families that get along so well it makes the Cleavers look dysfunctional. (pah-leese.)

I saw the movie "The Family Stone" last weekend. I want to go into this in more detail, but as I need to leave for the airport soon I’ll just start the conversation and we can delve deeper when I come back next week.

The movie left me feeling disturbed and melancholy. It took me several days to figure out the real reason why — the obvious reason of the film’s ending notwithstanding (I won’t spoil it for those who like surprises). I realized after some self-probing, and prompting from God, that I saw myself in the lead character and felt cheated by the ending the writer’s gave her. She’s the nervous, uptight, perfectionistic oddball in this gathering of laid-back self-proclaimed group of tolerant artists. But the truth is, it’s the family that’s more intolerant, uptight and insecure than Sarah Jessica Parker’s character. They are the ones who have already determined that she doesn’t fit, and she becomes the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong during the holiday.

I understand her. Very well. I lived that life. I still live it in my mind. Family dynamics stick with us even when all our family is gone.

I wanted her to be celebrated for who she is, not be pressed to conform to the Stone Family image. She wasn’t and she did.

Some might say they see the ending differently; that she was just with the "wrong man" and the right one brought out the tolerant, calmer side of her. But I disagree.

Talking with friends over the last few weeks, I’ve heard many stories of the various dysfunctional families out there and the frustrations my friends face when going home for Christmas. And by the way, I believe we ALL come from dysfunctional families; because every parent is broken and struggles and doesn’t get it perfect, or right all the time. That means we all grow up with unmet emotional needs and unhealthy patterns of behavior. More on that another time. I understand their frustrations. I experience my own when my family gathers. I’m sure you do too. I’m going through counseling to discover all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways this has affected who I am today and to learn how to become the person God created me to be.

My question to you is, how do you deal with the brokenness in your family? Do you run from it, or face it head on, or get sucked into its vortex? Each year you go home for a holiday, how much to you rail against the role you’ve been given in your family? Or do you just roll your eyes, grit your teeth and get through the holiday by reminding yourself you only have x-amount of days left before you get to go back to being who you really are as an adult?

Do you even see the dysfunction in your own family?

What does God say we are to do when we find ourselves at odds with our own families, for godly, healthy reasons?