I’ve been working like crazy, packing like crazy and getting things in order for my move this weekend to my new place. That’s why I haven’t posted — no time to write!!
I’m excited about getting moved, BUT I’m completely fed up/frustrated and pooped out by all the crap that goes with moving… namely, packing and arranging help to move. Pretty much everyone I’ve asked has either not been able to say because of their fluid schedules, committed and then back out because of previous but forgotten engagements, or not been able to help at all due to schedule conflicts.
I miss the days when all I had to do was tell my life group I needed help, and tell the worship team, and voila! I had an instant moving party. I’ve figured that I probably just don’t know people well enough here to really rate high enough in their lives to squeeze in a move for me. Not that I think people are free but just not coming; I don’t. I think everyone’s reasons are legitimate. But I had many years of history with my friends in LA, and consequently they always managed to come through for me when I needed them.
I’ve pretty much given up on the idea of getting it done with free labor/help and have booked Two Men and a Truck to come move the furniture on Friday. I feel much calmer and at peace now than I have the last week or so not knowing who, if anyone, was going to show up. Saturday I’ll move the smaller stuff that the professionals don’t — unless they have time (and I have the money) to move it all at once. Which, come to think of it, would be awesome. I like the idea of having Saturday to unpack in a relaxed, non-rushed way.
All the craziness with trying to get a moving crew together caused me to really consider where I am right now and the kind of community I’ve chosen to plant myself in. — And yes, I choose the word plant, even though, as Larry points out, there’s a trend in the ministry world of moving away from the phrase "church plant" because it implies immobility, rootedness. More on that another time. — Am I in a place where people really understand and live out the phrase "doing life together", or am I in a place where it’s just another word for fellowship at appointed times?
I don’t really know. My heart and gut tell me its the former, not the latter. But another voice tickles me with the emerging situation of my move and tells me perhaps my heart is wrong. Which voice do I listen to? Which voice is right?
I don’t have answers. Only decisions. I choose to believe my heart.
Nashville is such a different culture than LA. And Nashville churches such different animals than Mosaic. I thought life was rather fluid at Mosaic. And, in truth, our services are very fluid. But life in general wasn’t so much. Here, with so many people in the music industry and not knowing from week to week, even day to day, what their schedule is going to be or where they will be working, life is incredibly fluid. It can be crazy-making. Especially for a mild control-freak like me. I like to know things, have things settled, in advance. Flexibility is fine, but at least give me a range, some boundaries, that the flexibility will be within. Does that sound crazy?
No matter how longingly I stare at my past, it will never change the place I’m in right now, or the places God desires me to go. I miss my home church. I miss my community. And yet, if I were to leave here, I’d miss People’s Church just as much — but for different reasons. I hope, perhaps, that the community I form here will be just as strong, just as durable and just as eternal as the one I have in LA. Even now, after being gone over a year, I know I’d be surrounded and loved on and plugged into service there as I ever was.
But I haven’t been at TCP long enough to expect that from the community around me. At least I don’t think so. People don’t really know me, don’t have a history with me yet. Community is based on relationships. And relationships are like a garden. They have to be tended to with great care. I’ve planted seeds and some small shoots of friendship have sprung up, but those tender shoots can’t hold too much.
At least that’s what I think. I don’t know… am I wrong about this? Am I not expecting enough from a community? Or am I expecting too much? Is Mosaic the exception or the rule?
I hope this post makes sense…. I’m too exhausted to proof it.
MILD control-freak…?
Well, as to the rest, I have to say that from my own personal experience, Mosaic is the exception-not the rule. I have never found the community that you found there.
As for relationships, you are exactly right about them being a garden. It is too much to expect others who have only known you for a couple of months to jump into a major time commitment. It’s what God teaches in scripture but it rarely-to never-actually happens that way. When you find those who will, hang on to them with all your might!
Love you!
Yes, Mosaic is an exception… but I wonder how much of that has to do with Mosaic, and how much is due to the people themelves. And even Mosaic commmunity exists only for those who are fully “on board;” people who ask questions are dropped like hot rocks, it seems.
It just depends on which people get together. Some “get” community, many don’t. While all the organizers are devoting themselves to discussions of which precise word to use, people who really believe in community are out there making it happen.
Kind of discouraging that the folks at People’s Church won’t/can’t help with your move. You don’t have that much stuff!
Hey Lu!
I am with Larry… about how much of that has to do with Mosaic… and how much of it has to do with people themselves. While I have had great community at Mosaic/Brady.. all the years I went there and even now not going there… I know there were people who went there while I did that didn’t. I also believe community is about us…
I had the same fears about my move… and I am around dozens of people I have known for years… I am at a different season of life… my friends are all older and have huge committments to other things besides just hanging out with me! :0 Family, work, ministry, outside interests… etc.
Also being in another season of life… when we are in new situations with people that are new friends… how do we start living life together? It’s not the same process it was when we were 20… people have more issues in their lives… as we do… how we make friends is going to be different… and I think a more involved process…
I still come back constantly to my committment… my investment. You get 20% return on your investments! Most people don’t invest the way you do… they don’t have the same high standard (commitment, investment into) of friendship, relationship… When you find someone who is like you Lou… I agree with your sis… hang on to them good… because they just don’t come around too often! 🙂
Hey little sister,
I know how it is to be moving without help. It SUCKS big time. I’m sure you’ll let us all know where you are when you get there and I know you know that all of us out here on the west coast are praying for you.
Nina sent pictures of your big FOUR O celebration at Disney World. You looked very happy. I pray, inside, the happiness is there too. A sweet, sweet woman like you should have the best. I pray that for you and I know that will come.
I still have frequent memories (just yesterday) of the days I walked you back and forth across the living room trying to get you to stop crying, fed you bottles and, yes, changed your diapers. Those were just the beginning of our special days together.
Love you little one.
Your big (and only) brother.
First of all, hello. We haven’t spoken in some time. How was your birthday?
Secondly, I agree. It is completely frustrating when you cannot find people to help. I do not agree with basing help on how well people know you, but I’m sure that may be what some do. I know I feel uncomfortable asking people I do not know well to help, but I think they are usually more willing than I give them credit for. I have found recently, that it is the people I thought I could count on who have backed down from helping in times of need more than the people I have just met. Plus, sometimes I simply get tired of asking people over and over for help. Is that pride or a twisted version of selflessness? Making myself suffer so others don’t have to suffer, or not telling them so they won’t know the need I am facing?
I’m super busy these days. I’m stage managing Circle Player’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Show dates are tonight and tomorrow at 7pm and next week Thurs.-Sat. at 7 and Sun. at 2 at the Gateway Entertainment Complex downtown on 2nd Ave. South. I’d love to see you there if you can come. I’m sure you’ll be busy unpacking and putting homey touches around your new place, but if you need a break you now have no excuse! :o)
Hey girl… where are you? We miss u on here… how is the move? Talk to us!
YAY!!! My brother found my blog!!!! YAY!!!!