Solitude & Meditation

Take a moment to meditate on this passage. Don’t just read through it, but linger on each phrase, each word, and allow God to speak to you.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. — Romans 5:1-5

How Odd Is It…?

…that I’m extremely bummed out that I only scored 700 (out of 830) on my credit rating? I mean, I still was given a "Good" rating by all three major credit report agencies. But I’m really, seriously bummed out that it’s not "Excellent".

Does this qualify me for the Hermione-Granger-I’m-a-Failure-if-I’m-Not-Always-Excellent Award?

True Reflection

Finally! Tennessee is changing their state license plate. Apologies to all who like the old (current) one, but I think it’s just plain ugly. I got a specialty plate because I refused to drive a car with that thing on its tail! The new plates are a true reflection of our state’s natural, stunning beauty. This is a plate I’ll be proud to have on my "tail". 🙂 Come next year, when my tags are up for renewal, the specialty plate is going away and the new, "rolling hills" plate goes on (hopefully I’ll have a new car by then too!). Yay!

Special thanks to Talking Toaster for the heads-up.

Currently Watching

No matter how many times I watch it, I’m still enthralled by it. I love the characters — espcially Mrs. Bennett as played by Alison Steadman. What a wonderful drama queen! She reminds me very much of a person I once was friends with. Yikes!

I love the layers of the characters involved, and how Mr. Darcy’s character in particular is revealed piece-by-piece. Isn’t that so true of real life? So often our first impressions lead us astray. Why is that?

Is it, perhaps, because so many of us have learned how to conceal our true natures, as Mr. Darcy did, behind facades and masks? We deceive people as to who we really are, what we really think, and the depth (or lack of) and nature of our character, out of fear of rejection, or fear of conflict. Then we live in fear of being discovered for the frauds we are.

Others of us prejudge those wearing the masks, as if we are better than those living a lie, because we are not as they, whatever they may be living as.

Perhaps the biggest crime of all is that both of us fail to realize that we suffer the same malady of the heart: Pride and Prejudice.

…oh, here comes the good part! Talk with ya later….

Blessed Beyond Reason

I am. I’m serious. Follow the link. I don’t deserve even a quarter of the praise and love given me, but…. dang, I ain’t gonna give it back either!! 🙂

Conna, bless you!

Why such amazing, gracious, beautiful women choose to be my friend, even after all these years and all the crap I’ve given them, I doubt I’ll ever understand. But, man! Am I glad they’re my friends!!

Jesus Rocks!

1 Year Ago…

on this very day I arrived in Nashville.

About 9pm I drove into town (while talking on my cell to Larry) and met John and Jamie at Fido, had some good chai and conversation, then followed John back to the home of his parents, who were so gracious to allow me to live there until I found a place of my own.

My how time flies!

Invaded

in·vade v. – To enter and permeate; to overrun as if by invading; infest

Sometimes God just kisses me on the cheek. Sometimes He gives me a whole day full of kisses. Yesterday was one of those days.

From the moment I got up to the moment I fell asleep, I felt wrapped in God’s arms and loved on. At one point, after checking out a wonderful, promising new place to live, I bounded out to my car audibly praising Jesus and telling Him, my answer was yes — and what did He think. We talked together and joked and laughed with joy as I drove to meet up with a new group of friends.

My time with my friends was also amazing. Stimulating,powerfull conversation, insights and laughter all mingled together. The kind I haven’t had here. Oh, how I’ve missed this kind of community! It felt like home.

In the midst of all this, God quietly, gently chided me about some things; attitudes that have crept into my heart. It was an amazing thing, and so different than all the other times I’ve felt His rebuke. It wasn’t harsh, or heavy-handed, or even stern. There was no anger in His voice, no sting in His words, no sense of guilt or shame in my heart. Just quiet love and gentle chiding. I saw the truth in His words and realized something I’d allowed into my heart without ever realizing it. I didn’t sense that this was inherently bad or wrong; just that I needed to recognize and acknowledge its there.

I wonder, has Jesus so invaded my heart and soul that those layers, those filters that caused me to see Him, as a judging God, heavy-handed with my sin, has He so invaded my life that those filters have been stripped away?

Is this who He really has been all along? This loving, gentle, gracious, compassionate, merciful God, who is more concerned that I see what’s in my own heart than how I’ve wronged Him with it? How did I not see this for so long??

Jesus, come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out
With Your mercy…
Jesus, teach us the prayers that open these doors
Until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
And let Your truth be on our steps and in these rooms
Jesus invade…

Invade – By Christy Nockels

Days Go By

Can you believe it’s already August???? It’s hard to believe over half the year is already gone. It seems so strange to me to think that, in two more days, I’ll have been in Nashville for a year. Wild.

I came with such high hopes and big dreams. I guess that’s the story with just about everyone who comes here. But my dreams weren’t about the music industry. They were about Mosaic Nashville.

I remember dreaming about getting a big old house somewhere near Belmont or Vandy (I
didn’t even know those were "trendy" places at the time) where our team could have meetings and Mosaic LA’s overseas workers (aka missionaries) could stay while visiting our community and sharing what God is doing in their country and with their people. I already had some workers lined up in my mind that I wanted to come — my friends Brian and Lena, Joyce, Brian and Linda, the Clements, the Fudennas, the Harlans, the Burtches…. Oh, I was dreaming big. I had ideas for mission trips and cultural experiences. I was already investigating Nashville’s international flavors and thinking about ways to reach out to the international students.

I had so many hopes for our team! I dreamed of building team unity, of us coming together as co-laborers and growing into close family. No, I never expected us all to be great friends. I dreamed of us being tightly bound brothers and sisters in Jesus. I dreamed of us sweating and toiling and getting gritty and real with one another, and of forever changing the face of Nashville by redefining what it means to be a follower of Jesus (a "Christian") and what it looks like to build community ("church"). I ached for Nashville to know community like I knew (and still know, even though I’m so far away) at Mosaic LA. I still ache for that.

Big dreams. High hopes.

They turned into long days, even longer nights. Realities of team dynamics, of a team who wasn’t indigenous to either Nashville or Mosaic LA (save two of us), lack of team unity, a leader who didn’t know how to build team unity, chaos and lack of planning doomed our efforts from the start. Not to mention the logical chaos of seven people moving to a new city, looking for housing and jobs while also trying to get to know each other.

Then our leader left to take care of urgent personal crises. I was ready to bail. But Jamie, sweet Jamie, came in fighting and convinced me to stay. For a few months I thought perhaps my dreams could become reality. I even dared to dream again; new dreams, altered by the new reality of our little, but growing, Mosaic plant.
But some things end up being too good to be true. And soon enough, change came again, and chaos returned.

Perhaps I’m the only one in chaos now. Perhaps this dream I had wasn’t meant for Mosaic Nashville. Perhaps God has other things for me. I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. I don’t have ANY answers.

But I DO know one thing: God brought me out here. This is where I belong. Maybe not for forever, but definitely for now. I felt it the moment I arrived, and every day since. Even with all the uncertainty in my life — all the where will I live? where will I work? How will I make ends meet? Who will be my friend? — I am still convinced beyond all reason that I belong here. I belong in Nashville. Every fiber of my being shouts it out every day, with every tree, every thunderstorm, every firefly, every sunset, every warm, muggy evening I experience. Its as if I were made for this place. Perhaps it’s just the Crockett blood in me rejoicing that I’ve finally come home…. but I really think its something God put in me long ago that’s finally getting its chance to fly.

I must confess, finding myself feeling once again community-less and once again without a roommate and in need of a place to live by mid-October, feels frustratingly like I have made no progress at all. Yet I know I have. I know so much better whom I can trust (and whom I can’t), what I want, what I need, what’s important, even invaluable, to me, and who I am.

I know these things because God has walked with me every single day of the last year. He’s made His presence powerfully known, whispered His love to me every day, loved on me, talked to me, opened my eyes to new insight and reminded me of lessons past, fought with me, wrestled me to the ground and broken my hip so I’d remember our bout (oh, how I treasure our fights!! The fact that He loves me enough to fight with me rather than just withdraw His love and affection until I "behave" or "get it together" or "live perfectly"!! What a gift it is to be able to get angry and yell and fight back without fear He will stop loving me, or withdraw His hand from me!!). He’s always provided what I need, usually at the last possible second; sometimes I thought He was late, but I was wrong. He has an odd sense of timing that is uniquely His own, but it always proves itself Good. He has taught me so many wonderful things! Given me such incredible gifts! Every thunderstorm, every firefly, every snowflake precious God-kisses on my cheek! By knowing God, and wrestling with Him over the questions in my heart, I know myself better. And I see a little clearer who it is He made me to be, and what He dreams for me.

I know that God gave me passion. And the passions I have, and the dreams borne from those passions, must find a place to nest. As they do, I will become more of the woman God dreamed up so very long ago.

Sacramental

sac·ra·men·tal adj. – Consecrated or bound by or as if by a sacrament; consecrated; anointed

This was a fun little quiz. Take it yourself and let me know what your results are.


You scored as Sacrament model. Your model of the church is Sacrament. The church is the effective sign of the revelation that is the person of Jesus Christ. Christians are transformed by Christ and then become a beacon of Christ wherever they go. This model has a remarkable capacity for integrating other models of the church.

Sacrament model

95%

Mystical Communion Model

78%

Servant Model

39%

Herald Model

39%

Institutional Model

11%

What is your model of the church? [Dulles]
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