When they had eaten, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these [others do–with reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion, as one loves the Father]? He said to Him, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You [that I have deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. He said to him, Feed My lambs.

Again He said to him the second time, Simon, son of John, do you love Me [with reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion, as one loves the Father]? He said to Him, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You [that I have a deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. He said to him, Shepherd (tend) My sheep.

He said to him the third time, Simon, son of John, do you love Me [with a deep, instinctive, personal affection for Me, as for a close friend]? Peter was grieved (was saddened and hurt) that He should ask him the third time, Do you love Me? And he said to Him, Lord, You know everything; You know that I love You [that I have a deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. Jesus said to him, Feed My sheep.

I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, when you were young you girded yourself [put on your own belt or girdle] and you walked about wherever you pleased to go. But when you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will put a girdle around you and carry you where you do not wish to go.

He said this to indicate by what kind of death Peter would glorify God. And after this, He said to him, Follow Me!

……Jesus said to him, If I want him to stay (survive, live) until I come, what is that to you? [What concern is it of yours?] You follow Me! — John 21:15-22 (Amplified Bible)

We use one word to describe so many emotions. How inadequate the English language is!

Throughout my many years in church I’ve heard a lot of sermons on this passage, and much speculation on why Jesus asked Peter this question 3 times. However, it wasn’t until two years ago that someone finally showed me the subtle but distinct difference in the meaning of Jesus’ love-word and Peter’s love-word (and then this week I found out that Adria learned this in her Greek Bible class at Taylor U. That just stinks…. why isn’t anyone really TALKING about this?)

I was in a Beth Moore Bible study while in Cyprus. We were going through her study called Breaking Free. Beth came to this passage and pointed out the two different, distinct words used and I was thunderstruck. I’ve been listening to internet broadcasts of this series the past couple of weeks and last Monday’s lesson retraced my steps through this passage again.

Jesus uses a word, agapao, which means a high esteem, respect, reverent kind of love. It the same word Jesus uses in Mark 12:30-31. This word also indicates a direction of the will. The idea here is that its a choice we make; being determined to so.

Peter, on the other hand, keeps using the word, phileo, which is a brotherly kind of love.

Finally, on his last "do you love me?" Jesus switches to Peter’s word, saying, "Okay, Peter, do you phileo me?" And Peter says, "you know I do…."

The point of this banter wasn’t, as some preachers have said, to give Peter a chance to cancel his three denials of Jesus. The point was for Peter, and us, to catch the truth that phileo love just isn’t enough to keep us followers of Jesus from crashing and burning out as we serve others.

Yes Jesus said, "feed my sheep". But he goes on to say, "follow me.’ In other words, "make a conscious choice to agapao Me. Esteem Me, respect Me, trust Me with everything you’ve got. Because that’s the only way you’re gonna be able to handle all that is to come without burning out and giving up on Me."

It’s amazing to me how badly I get it wrong often times. Even now that I get the meaning of the love-words, and the whole exchange, I still often revert back to old teaching and erroneous thought patterns, believing that it’s all about me, all on me to love and thus get myself through things through sheer determination of will.

My experience with God, however, is so vastly different. And proves beyond doubt, when I think about it, just how big a liar the enemy is and how often I fall prey to those lies.

I think the thing that impacted me most though, was a realization that this is what life is all about. Yes, I’m called to serve and give my life away for others. But…. if I don’t agapao Jesus; if I don’t highly esteem Him, revere Him and make a determined choice to love Him, to want what’s in His best interest; if I just love Him like a brother, if He’s just my pal and a dear close, close friend, or if He’s just a family member, just the Father I obey because I’m too afraid not to; if I do not highly regard and prize Him as a grand treasure, then I will not survive this thing we call "Christianity". I may continue to serve, and lead, and even be held up as an example. But my heart and spirit will languish in the fires of religious burn-out.

I’m getting through this hell on earth called mourning and grief and loss each day because I so love Jesus. I soooo love Him! He cradles me in His arms, dances with me, cries with me, yells with me, fights with me, walks with me, picks me up when I fall, holds me firm when I can’t stand, carries me when I can’t get up, shelters me in His robe when the rain lashes us, covers me as the lightning flashs and thunder roars, helps me to cut loose and laugh at how drenched we are when the storm passes, sings me to sleep, wakes me with sunrises, watches the fireflies dance with me…..

There isn’t anything He doesn’t do with me, or for me. He doesn’t have to say anything and I know by His presence, His touch, His creation that He loves me. He’s proven He will not leave me, yet never tires of gently saying He won’t when I get scared and beg Him not to go. He doesn’t get offended when I get angry and doesn’t just give in to my demands. He fights with me, proving His love through His willingness and strength to stand toe-to-toe with me, not withdrawing and not bullying, but arguing His case and standing firm and resolute in Himself.

I DO highly esteem Him. I DO hold Him in the highest regard. I DO make a choice to love Him — I’ve had many opportunities to walk away, to give up on this thing He calls Abundant Life, which hasn’t much felt abundant or Life-like these last few years. But I can’t leave Him. My heart would break and my life would be nothing. HE is the thing that breathes Life into me. Without Him, there’s just no point.

And this is what I was referring to earlier. The enemy so often lies to me that I must be the one to get myself through things, I must bear the burden of agapao love alone, that what this whole exchange between Jesus and Peter is really Jesus telling Peter, "buck up, bud. You gotta carry this cross thing all the way. If you love me, work hard and follow hard, ’cause I ain’t gonna do anything for ya. It’s all on you."

What a crock!

Now…. now I’m learning that this agapao; this thing we call Love — True Love — this is my purpose. This is the reason I was created, the thing I was made to do! That, in doing this, in agapao-ing God, I live out my purpose. Can you believe that?? How simple! And I keep trying to make this purpose thing so complicated…. Here I thought, and always believed, that I was created to do things high and lofty. But it turns out, it seems, that I was just made to Love. Just to be Loved and to Love in return. Love the way God loves. To agapao. — I’ve spent the last two years seeking my purpose, and as it turns out, perhaps I have been fulfilling my purpose all along. Who knew?

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than
these." — Mark 12: 30-31