"Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart…

we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this allsurpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." — 2 Cor 4:1,7-11,16-18

An email conversation taking place between some of my Mosaic teammates got my spirit chewing on things this morning, after I worked out at the Y (Yippeee!! Lu is finally learning how to get up in the morning and EXERCISE! I’m still not a morning person, but, hey, I’m still awake and thinking 7 hours after I arose. 🙂 Not a bad start to the new routine. PRAY that I can keep it up.)

I also read the Purpose Driven devotional email and saw a verse from this passage. Things began to click as my mind finally began waking up (a good hot shower always helps the mind-fog to clear).

How many times have I heard in my Christian life that, while suffering is a part of life in Christ, "joy comes in the morning." That is, the pain of suffering will vanish with the light of Jesus upon our souls — or something equally churchy, ethereal,enigmatic, and completely impracticable.

The reality of a follower of Christ just isn’t so pretty a picture. John the Baptist was left in prison to lose his head while Jesus healed and freed OTHERS. Peter died for Christ, Paul went through a litany of crap, John was banished to an uninhabited island, unnamed and countless other followers of Christ have been tortured and killed in our time, in places like Morocco, Libya, India, Indonesia and China.

All of us on my team are struggling and fighting and waging bloody dirty war every single day. Financial difficulties keep us all severely strapped for funds, unmet expectations and unrealized dreams taunt us and dog our every step, workplace strife and stress rips at our spirits and the hard, cold spiritual ground of Nashville leaves us with calluses on our souls as we till the land God has called us to.

I love reading the email of one teammate. He was so excited when we first began. Now he is feeling the beatings of the life of a Barbarian and is struggling to continue to seize every moment of this life to which Jesus called him. It’s such a beautiful sight to see!

Call me weird if you want, but I much prefer to see the struggle; to see followers of Christ contending with life, sometimes overcoming and sometimes being overcome by it, than to see an always victorious shiny person. Another friend is in the throes of wrestling with God over some issues in his life. I love that.

I don’t think you heard me yet. I LOVE THAT.

That’s real life. That’s the kind of life I want to live, the kind of life I want to journey alongside, the kind of community I want to be apart of. I belong in that kind of group. I’m probably the messiest follower of Christ you will ever meet. My life, my heart, my soul, my spirit. Every part of me is messy, muddy, bloody, gritty — and real. I’m not Janice Dickinson — nothing about me is fake and I’m absolutely not perfect. If you don’t like gritty, bloody reality, you better steer clear of me. ‘Cause I’m all about that kind of life. I’ve had my fill of the fluffy, no-complications kind of life most churches try to sell these days.

It is such a cool and amazing thing to be a part of a community where we all sweat and get dirty and bloody together. To watch my brothers contending with life is such an amazing blessing! It brings healing to my soul and courage to my heart. I am literally EN-couraged — filled to overflowing with courage — when I witness such things. Because it says to me, "there is hope for me yet."

There is hope that I can continue the Barbarian path I am on. There is hope that I can contend with life as they do. There is hope that our community will be real and authentic; a true community where hearts are bonded by the gritty reality of following Christ no matter the cost.

Fight on, my brothers! Your struggles buoy my spirit. Your untamed hearts give me courage to unleash my own. And your steadfast love for Christ spurs me on to greater levels of intimacy with Him.