I’ve had several dreams over the last few days that continue to stick with me. Even as I sit here at work, combining edits and comments of the doc’s new book for the doc to read through, I keep having vivid flashbacks of my dreams.
More than that, there’s an undercurrent of emotions… I guess that’s the best way to describe what I’m feeling… there’s this undercurrent from the dreams that remains. Like a constant hum of a motor.
It’s an undercurrent of anticipation. Of expectation. Of pride (the kind you have for others), warmth, love and contentment…. even though the things in my dream were not "settled" or "finished".
I dreamed about enemies, of attempting to make alliances with an enemy chasing me in order to defeat an even greater enemy awaiting me.
I dreamed about roads, lots of roads, and traveling down many of them,
of desperately trying to avoid wrong-way drivers on a freeway full of them — I knew they were fleeing the enemy awaiting me.
of buildings blocking the way of the roads, and of me looking for a way around them,
of family members, of how proud I am of my niece and nephew,
of reconciliations,
and rain and flooding,
of disappointment because of friends who never came to a celebration (perhaps because of the rain and flooding)…
There’s more, I know there is. I just can’t remember it all right now. I didn’t write them down, as I usually do when I have dreams I remember. Haven’t had the time. Nor have I had the time to go through and contemplate what they mean.
But the thing that keeps pulling at me are these undercurrents I spoke of. They continually swell up in me. I want so much to be able to put a finger on their "cause"… the real-life cause. But I can’t.
It’s so distracting at times! It’s hard to sit in anticipation and expectation when you don’t have any idea what you’re waiting for, what you’re expecting to happen. Yet I can’t get rid of it.
Nor do I think I want to. I like the feelings swirling in my soul right now. The expectation as well as the warmth, pride and contentment. I’ll take them any day over the dark cloud I lived under for so long last year! Even on this overcast, rainy winter day, life looks as bright and warm as spring….
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